Trauma forces us to develop a protection system to help us survive. We use any resources around us to help us to keep safe and not be hurt – people, animals, nature, things, places, and internal walls. We use one or many depending on the situation and become experts using one or many simultaneously.
One of my primary coping skills was to be shy, which I changed when loneliness overwhelmed me. What did you use? Here are some other examples.
- Thick, dark internal walls we hide behind.
- Addictions – food, drugs/alcohol, material things, relationships, etc. We, humans, can become addicted to anything!
- Pride, arrogance –culture, abilities, intelligence, skills, money, looks, etc.
- Isolation –social anxiety (shyness), i.e., fear of people.
- Strong feelings – jealousy, anger, depression, anxiety (fear).
- Pain/Illness –all kinds, even surgeries.
- Compensate –being insecure, we know we are not okay, wanted, or good at anything, so we do something to counteract it.
- Competencies—good at sports, academics, the life of the party, music, dance, art, etc.
- Earth –nature, animals, plants/gardening, astrology, rocks, etc.
- Hoarding –anything, and usually connected to grief and fears.
- Getting out and staying away, going to other families.
- Roles –acting out, gangs, clown, violence, peacemaker, scapegoat, etc., giving us a sense of importance and belonging.
- What resources did you have around you?
- Make a list of the ways you protected yourself.
- How did they work? When did you use them?
Please share these to help others heal. Also, I am a speaker, invite me!