Category Archives: Rejection

Abuse & Neglect, Coping Behaviors, Human Trafficking, Overcoming, Pain, Rejection, Relationships, Transcender, Trauma, Trauma Healing, Uncategorized, Victims, War

IN THE BEGINNING

Leave a comment

When do we need to seek the help of a psychotherapist/counselor? When our lives have been hard, painful, and lonely, we can’t work, want to give up, run away from everything, can’t function, sleep all the time, have poor relationships with ourselves and others, and if we become suicidal. (If you are, call for help immediately and call 988.) 

At the beginning of the healing journey, we are scared, sometimes almost to being terrified. Will I find myself? Will I like myself? Am I damaged beyond any hope? But the pain and loneliness drive us forward with fantastic courage with that bit of hope that healing can happen. And it can!

We, not anyone else, must choose the decision to heal. No one else can make the decision, only us. That hope gives us a glimmer that we may have the life we have always dreamed of having. Perhaps we can have friends who do not hurt and betray us. Maybe, just maybe, I can find the real me and like me.

The fear sometimes stops us one, two, or more times. Then we break through and get into psychotherapy and start healing. Please remember this about healing:

  1.  Healing will take the time it needs. Be patient with yourself. Love yourself to health.
  2. Healing follows steps but will be individualized according to your needs and life. You will learn in the journey you can trust yourself more and more. Sometimes we have learned from the trauma we can’t trust ourselves.
  3. We do not need to know how to heal. That is the work and knowledge the therapist has and will guide and teach you.
  4. It is okay to change therapists if the one you have does not help you the way you need. This does not mean they are not good. It means they are the right fit for you. Please don’t therapist hop, going from therapist to therapist. Sometimes this us, us avoiding us, doing the hard work of healing.
  1. Are you tired of the pain and loneliness and ready to heal? Make the phone call to a therapist.
  2. If you are ready but have not called, what is stopping you? Fix it.
  3. Are you doing the healing work of feeling your feelings? Great!
Abuse & Neglect, Coping Behaviors, God, Healing, Overcoming, Pain, Rejection, Relationships, Transcender, Trauma, Trauma Healing, Uncategorized, Victims, War

WHAT DO WE NEED TO HEAL?

Leave a comment

We are mind, body, and spirit and must work to heal all areas of trauma damaged. Trauma can come from a spiritual place such as a church, temple, religious people, cults, etc. Maybe we were physically, mentally, verbally, and/or sexually abused and neglected by parents, relatives, teachers, coaches, neighbors, and “friends,” etc. Sadly, today, people have become victims regardless of age or circumstance.

The trauma we experience may also be generational – trauma runs in our families for many generations. Trauma may be circumstantial, that is, in our particular family, neighborhood, etc. To heal, we must heal in all areas. The following are the areas and how it affects us. We can heal! It is our decision.

Body:

Medical research has documented that trauma affects our physical body function adversely, causing – autoimmune diseases, depression, anxiety, heart disease, long-term chronic diseases, poor concentration, stroke, brain effects, diabetes, etc.

Mind:

Mental and emotional trauma can cause depression, anxiety, flashbacks, hypervigilance, confusion, poor relationships, dissociation, blunted affect, numbness to feelings, exhaustion, agitation, bitterness, long-term grief, etc. This damage then affects all areas

Spiritual:

Our spirituality is the core of our existence. We are spiritual being having a human experience in a hard school called life. So spiritual trauma can cause a lack of faith, destroy hope, create distance /fear/anger at God, feel abandoned and/or punished by God, loss of purpose and meaning in our lives, lose any purpose for living, destroy any power or authority for our lives, develop a poor basis for values and/or goals, loss of direction, cause existential depression, cause damage to relationships, create shame and worthlessness, and leave us with insecurity and low self-confidence.

  1. How were you traumatized?
  2. What effects do you still suffer from the trauma?
  3. What choices can you make for yourself now?
Abuse & Neglect, Coping Behaviors, Healing, Overcoming, Pain, Rejection, Transcender, Trauma, Trauma Healing, Uncategorized, Victims, War

TO HEAL OR NOT TO HEAL

Leave a comment

When do we need to seek the help of a psychotherapist/counselor? When our lives have been hard, painful, lonely, can’t work, want to give up, want to run away from everything, can’t function, sleep all the time, have poor relationships with self and others, and if you become suicidal. (If you are suicidal, call for help immediately! Call 988.) 

More descriptions of when we need to seek help to heal from trauma:

  1. Depressed and/or anxious for 6 months or more
  2. Feeling worthless and of no value
  3. Constant loneliness
  4. Nightmares
  5. Anxiety/panic attacks
  6. Flashbacks
  7. Grieving beyond the usual intensity and length
  8. Hating ourselves and others
  9. Angry and bitter
  10. Jealous of everything and one
  11. Trauma of any kind can include neglect, poverty, gangs, isolation, scapegoating, war, rejection, etc.
  12. Abused – mentally, physically, emotionally, sexually, and spiritually.
  13. Neglected
  14. Shame filled
  15. Social anxiety
  16. Changing between depression and manic moods
  17. Hallucinations, delusions

Because we hurt, it feels awful being us. We have pain, loneliness, and no hope.  It is time to find a good psychotherapist. In my book, If Marie Did It, So Can I! How to survive, heal and transcend abuse and neglect, I outline how to find a high-quality therapist. You can heal, get out of pain and learn to like yourself.

  1. How many of the above do you have?
  2. How long have you been in pain and loneliness?
  3. Were you traumatized? How?