Loneliness and Time
Here is a BIG one when we are dealing with loneliness. When we have been traumatized, we usually learn to live the future. Living in the present is not an option because in the present is where we have been so hurt, abused, terrified and LONELY. The present time, terrifies us. In the future, we see a ray of hope that life could possibly be better. So our focus in and on the future where there is hope.
Sometimes we live in the past going over and over the hurt, pain and fear. We put past memories into memory block where we don’t really don’t remember them. Some do become stuck in the past. For most, our hope is in the future. This is one of the main reasons we are lonely. We can’t live and be fully present in the future. The only place to we can live is in the present moment. So we are lonely not only for others, but desperately for ourselves too.
Sadly, the older we get, the future seems never to comes and aren’t able to create the life we dreamed and hoped for no matter how hard we worked and tried. We may see us running out of time maaybe we are older and we see little or no future to live or hope for. For whatever reason, our hope may fade and depression sets in with its fear and loneliness. P.S.– If they have not nailed your coffin down, there is hope, life and purpose ready to be embraced in your life. It is not too late. We have worked with 90 year olds who changes their lives and their relationships before going home to God.
The reality, we can’t live in the future. To live in the present, we need to make a decision and then correct ourselves gently and lovingly to come back to the present moment. That takes effort and we have to feel all of our feelings that come. We can only feel feelings in the present moment. Another reason we like the future so much.
What happens is that because we have lived in the future and past, again, we are lonely for ourselves, others and God. Relationships occur only in the present moment. The present it the only place we can truly know ourselves, be in fellowship with others and God. It is truly the only place we can live, heal and grow and not be lonely.
So, all that said, we need to remind ourselves to stay in the present and live our life. When we find ourselves in the past, we need to gently bring us back into the present and ask ourselves what was painful about it. Do your feeling work and gain the wisdom it offers you.
Breaking Free from Trauma class is live streamed on Facebook. Come join us! Every Thursday at 6:30 PM at 1560 Leonard in Muskegon MI. Under Donna LaMar.