Tag Archives: PTSD

Abuse & Neglect, Anxiety, Coping Behaviors, Depression, God, Healing, Overcoming, Pain, Protection, PTSD, Rejection, Transcender, Trauma Healing, Uncategorized

PROTECTION AND FEELINGS

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We have been talking about how we protect ourselves. Now, let’s talk about those feelings connected and twisted in us. Our protection system works to keep us protected. It also works to control our feelings from the trauma so we stay in control – anger, jealousy, hurt, abandonment, anxiety/fear, betrayal, etc. Our control works sometimes, but not all time. We may “lose it.”

This losing it is because we have harbored tons of feeling physically stored in neuropeptides. The more trauma we experience, the more we store our feelings stressing every aspect of us – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. When our feelings have filled our bodies beyond capacity, we may explode. My technique was to slam a door, still like doing it. We must be careful when feeling and releasing our feelings. See the previous post on the three rules.

When we feel, we heal. We must embrace our pain and its darkness and dread and feel them fully. As we do, we find parts of us stored in our many protection layers and see us at different ages. Important memories may surface. Process and feel to heal the memories. You can do it! You have already survived the memory. You are just going back to feel and heal.

God is a terrific help to us heal. Ask Him to help. Ask Him to lift some of the pain. He will. I have been asked why I believe in God, and I answer that He is always there for me, helping me through life. Frank Turek said it well, “I don’t have enough faith to be an atheist.”

  1. What have you done with your feelings? Often they are stored in our bodies where we hurt the most.
  2. What stops you from deciding to feel your feelings fully and heal?
  3. If shame stops you, ask God to heal it in you. Then allow Him to do it.

Please share with others to help them heal. Also invite me to speak!

Abuse & Neglect, Anxiety, Brain and Trauma, Coping Behaviors, Depression, God, Healing, Neglect, Overcoming, Pain, Protection, PTSD, Rejection, Relationships, Trauma, Uncategorized, Victims

OUR PROTECTION SYSTEM

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What is a protection system? We create behaviors, thoughts, and feelings to protect ourselves from the pain of trauma and, if possible, from more trauma. When trauma first happened to us, we were defenseless and blindsided. We learn that to survive, we have to protect ourselves.

It is a straightforward equation: more trauma = more protection needed. Other victims understand how much trauma affects every part of us and how desperately we need our protection system to survive.

Sadly, we often have limited resources as children and as adults. We look around and find resources we can use. We become creative and use things, places, animals, people, etc., to nurture and protect us. This is our protection system. Without it, we would be worse off physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The trauma would devastate us. Sometimes people choose suicide.

The younger and more severe the trauma, the more our brains and personalities cannot develop healthily. We scramble and do the best we can do using anything available. Some will be good and some not so good.

One protection is to develop emotional and behavioral patterns. We can have any or many diagnoses. We can look mentally ill and not be. These can include but are not limited to bipolar, schizophrenia, borderline, etc. Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID, multiple personalities) is one of the ways to cope. It puts memories and feelings in our brains and sometimes even names. These diagnoses, if not inherited, change as we heal or even disappear.

Our protection system contains many techniques which are connected. We use different ones depending on the trauma, available resources, and people or lack of people.

As we heal, they go into storage. We never lose our techniques. Lord forbid, but if we need them, they surface instantly. Examples will be in the next post.

  1. Can you identify any part of your protection system? What?
  2. Do you remember developing them? How do you use them now?
  3. Do you need them anymore? If you do, get help, and get safe.

Please share these to help others heal. I am a speaker, invite me!

 [DL1]

Abuse & Neglect, Coping Behaviors, Healing, Overcoming, Pain, PTSD, Rejection, Relationships, Transcender, Trauma, Uncategorized, Victims

ACCEPT WHAT WE CAN’T CHANGE

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The Serenity Prayer reminds us to know the difference between what we can and cannot. The healing journey forces us to examine our choices for change in our lives. Here are areas to remember.

  1. We can only change ourselves. We can heal, grow, and change our feelings, looks, clothes, and careers/jobs. We can leave relationships and change our cars, homes, cities, states, etc. It is all about what we can control and healthy boundaries.
  2. We cannot change other people! This is a fact. Too many people, especially women, go into relationships believing because they love someone, they can change them. This happens too rarely.
  3. We can use fear and violence to make someone compliant. Our victims look like they are changing. Actually, they are working hard to have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
  4. We can help people change with kindness only if THEY choose to change. WE, including me, have no power to change anyone. I am not talking about raising children who need respect and guidance as they grow and learn.
  5. We are limited in changing organizations unless we own them and/or are in charge.
  6. We can work to change our world and make a difference. We can help our corner of the world heal through our actions of healing, kindness, and restoration.

Life is hard and, at times, beyond what we can handle. We struggle to know what to do and change. We must take time to sort out and come to understand what we can and cannot change. In doing so, we find peace.

  1. What part of you or your life can you not change?
  2. What parts of you or your life can you change?
  3. What has it been like when you tried to change something you couldn’t change?

Please share these to help others heal. Also, I am a speaker, invite me!